Embrace societal differences — they’re more important than you think
Hi. I’m Jack. I’m queer, have autistic traits, ADHD and a hell of a lot of childhood trauma. I use they / them pronouns. All of this makes me societally different. But this isn’t a bad thing… if people understand how this makes me different and work with me.
Differences within populations are what brought us from single celled squishy sea dwellers to the complex organisms we are now. They are something to be celebrated, not shunned.
Society teaches that different equals bad, and that difference must be squashed out of us. “show your working” questions in schools have mark schemes — it’s not just attempting to improve our knowledge, it’s trying to constrain how we think.
I am so much more than a damaged kid, damned by a queerphobic deity to an eternity of hell. My neurodivergence is so much more than being bouncy, easily distracted by shiny things, or squirrels, or an aversion to eye contact. The misunderstandings around neurodivergence stem from a societal disinterest in who we are and how we work. It is much easier to take ADHD as its acronym face value (labelling us as tiggers and the dogs from Up), than to actually try to understand the emotional, organisational and interpersonal differences that come along with this.
My emotions are more heightened than other peoples’. I feel rejection and failure like an apocalyptic event. I seek out dopamine, and quickly lose interest when the dopamine fades or I fail at something. Out of sight, out of mind takes on a life of its own, encompassing people, hobbies and belongings — dishwashers and washing machines stay full, and if I dismiss a message notification, you’re not getting a response.
But there’s also things my neurodivergence makes me excel at — if I’m really passionate about something, I can hyperfocus for hours, days, years. I can become an expert in this area in a much shorter amount of time than a neurotypical person. I concentrate better on my main task when I’m multitasking, which means I can fill out that form, doodle, exercise, research an interest and still pay more attention to the lecture than I would otherwise. ADHD brains are brilliant in chaotic and crisis situations because where there’s a lot going on and someone else would panic, we hit the right level of stimulation. My ASD traits have led to me studying people and their reactions, giving me an unusually strong insight into peoples’ subtle signposting and non-verbal communications, as well as my own struggles and reactions. I can easily adapt my style of conversation to fit other peoples’ energy, personality, mood and divergence. I bring new and different ideas to the neurotypical table, meaning I can problem solve on the spot far better than many neurotypicals.
So yes, I may have forgotten to empty the dishwasher for days, or seem inexplicably crushed by what you may perceive as a minor setback, but remember — people like me saved you from an eternity of squishy sea monsterhood, and we’re so much more valuable than you give us credit for.
P.S. I wrote this on a computer. A machine invented by a gay, autistic person.
